IT’S ALMOST OVER!!! I’M GOING TO BE BROKE FOR THE NEXT 30 YEARS BUT IT’S ALMOST OVER!!!

*deep breath* *exhale*

Let me begin by saying that the process of buying a house SUUUUUUUUCKS. Over the past several months I have completely upended my entire life in order to go through this process, and I’m VERY happy to say it is almost over. For all you would be house hunters out there, go ahead and get prepared for a hellish experience. Here’s a taste of the 3 phases you will encounter during the process, whether you want to or not, in order.

PHASE 1:

tysonreaction

Being dragged halfway across the state and back by your realtor trying to find a suitable house and making a bid on it before someone else yanks it out from under you while a loan officer bombards you with paperwork you don’t understand and can’t get them to explain putting you into a perpetual loop of “WTF is going on??!!”.

PHASE 2:

WTF-AUD

Congrats! You found the perfect house and got it under contract, let the buying begin! This is the “legal forms, inspections, negotiations, more forms, hidden fees, additional fees, where-did-this-come-from fees, ‘wait, this is gonna cost HOW much?’ fees, stop-rushing-me-through-the-contract” phase. It’s a fresh hell to be sure.

PHASE 3:

DAFUQ-JUST-HAPPENED

YOU’VE DONE IT! YOU MADE IT TO CLOSING! Yes, it’s been a long and hellish process and at this point you couldn’t care less about the mental roller-coaster you were just subjected to. You’re just happy that now the whole process is in the hands of a couple of lawyers who’ve been no part of the process until now and can make or break the entire deal on a house that is now costing you about $200 a month over your budget while you contemplate how many different ways you can prepare ramen noodles and how many consecutive packs of noodles you’ll have to eat before a cyanide pill starts to look appetizing.

YAY HOME OWNERSHIP!

So, with the end of my home buying escapades close at hand it will be back to life as (something that resembles) normal. I’ll have my office and my jam room back, so my art table and the website are going to get some much needed attention as will all my tech and music gear that’s been collecting dust either at work or in storage. That is really about all the update I have right now as my entire life has been swallowed up in this process. I have yet to hear back from Top Cow about my talent hunt submission so it either didn’t warrant a response or they haven’t finished the process of choosing finalists/winners. Work is as busy as ever as we roll up on budget renewal and projects are starting to gear up from cruising to ramming speed.

That’s all for now fellow citizens of Internetlandia! Stay Tooned!

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